The last few days here in Taiji have been a living nightmare. It’s hard to “come home from work” from the Cove and simply go to sleep at night. How the hell is one supposed to do that when my mind won’t turn off.
The horrific scenes I’ve witnessed during the last few days are like a constantly running loop. You cannot unsee these images once you have witnessed them. I have recorded these scenes in the “camera of my mind” a hundred times in the last 11 years, and these last three days only trigger the memories of thousands of other dolphin who are now ghosts, and have taken up residency in my mind.
Maybe it’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or whatever they call it. I hear about it all of the time on the nightly news. Soldiers returning from the war with PTSD, but I don’t actually know what PTSD is. I will have to Google it and see if it fits.
I have been trying to write a blog about the last three days for hours now — with no success. The blogs are important and I need to post it on our website while it is still fresh news — but my mind will not cooperate with my right index finger, which hits the keyboard and creates the words on this iPad screen. Perhaps it is a natural reaction because the mind has to relive the nightmare all over again. The finger couldn’t care less. It seems to have a disconnect — like it’s not really involved.
I know how important it is to write this blog ASAP but I just can’t seem to do it. So dear reader, I hope you will settle for this rambling. I’m going for a long walk.
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